second-rate, b-list, rejected and poorly translated sayings and aphorisms
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JDiego's HOUSE O' PROVERBS, featuring a range of consumer products emblazoned with selected aphoristic cast-offs!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Shake the salt if it's your fault; shake the pepper to blame the leper. (old Hawaiian saying)
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Cannot the shortest among you see up the skirts of opportunity? --Milton Snerver (1918 Republican presidential candidate)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Every time you sneeze, kiss your nurse's knees. (from the German: "Jedes Mal, wennSie niesen,küsse deineKrankenschwesterdie Knie.")
Monday, December 12, 2011
Sleep is the body's way of resting with it's eyes closed. --(from "Obviously!: A Collection of Sayings by Morons who Think They're So Smart", Dumbass Editions, 1997)
Friday, December 09, 2011
The path to full is paved by food retention.
The good intention is a good invention.
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
The grande is the message.
--Marshall McLuhan wannabe, in Starbucks
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Enough time and ice cream can fix anything. --from the Bible
Thursday, December 01, 2011
The best things in life that aren't free are usually stolen from that asshole, Ron. --from the Latin
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The wolf that is biting your leg is not biting my leg, yet.
--from the Romanian ("Lupul, care estemuscapiciorultăunuestemuscapiciorulmeu,încă.")
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sieze the last toaster waffle!
--from the Latin ("Carpe Eggem ultimem")
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Who cleans the catbox earns the loyalty of lions. --from the French
Monday, November 14, 2011
A rising tide lifts all boats, but floods many basements too.
Friday, November 04, 2011
There is no "I" in misstatement. --Coach Barney (from "More Jock Raps: The Wisdom of Gym Teachers, Volume 2")
Thursday, November 03, 2011
The best way to eat is noisily, with lots of num-num noises. --St. Augustus the Chubby, MCCIV
Monday, October 31, 2011
Remember the good things about your friends, try to forget the bad things (unless those things are about money). --from the Portuguese ("Lembre-se das coisas boas sobre seus amigos, tentar esquecer as coisas ruins (a menos que essas coisas são sobre o dinheiro).")
Friday, October 28, 2011
The last weasel is the least weasel.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Humility is a first cousin to humidity. --from the Portuguese
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Someone else will always said it best, eventually. --not me
Monday, May 24, 2010
Turn often from your path in life to sample the local cheeseburgers.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Curling iron in the tub, Ned won't make it to the pub. -- [from the Old English]
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Cake should not be shared with anyone you are not required, morally or karmic-wise, to share cake with.
The stranger the hat, the better the attitude.
(from the crazy Dutch, "De vreemdeling de hoed, hoe beter de houding.")
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Ghosts are just dead people who missed the bus. [from the Swedish, "Spöken är bara döda människor som missade bussen."]