Monday, October 31, 2005

We should fear that which does not fear us, or which does not fear that which we fear.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Old men drive sportscars, so do young women and guys named Earl.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Bald as a cueball, crazy as an eightball, sticky as a gumball.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

In every town there is a Broadway, but rarely is there a Dudeway.

Monday, October 24, 2005

A public restroom is only as good as the use to which it is put.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Cart, carriage, or coffee table--the corpse doesn't care.

Monday, October 17, 2005

To barbers and brain surgeons: always polite.

Friday, October 14, 2005

The carpal tunnel is neither a Transylvanian highway feature nor a sex act with a fish.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Foresight provides enough chairs for the asses.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Never make eye contact with a naked bus driver.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The first martini is often the best martini.

Monday, October 10, 2005

The chicken's curse is how good it tastes.