Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

Poets and psychopaths both could use more fiber in their diets.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Happy is the man who knows he has food on his face.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Impress girls, amaze your friends: wipe that mayonaisse off your cheek.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What is foreign to me is foreign to you unless you are a foreigner.

Friday, February 17, 2006

No time like the present to toilet-train the mongoose.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The salad fork is mightier than the dessert fork.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The cow that gives the most milk sleeps closest to the farmer.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Who fails to sweep the floor misses the leftovers.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The thicker the cheese, the heavier the pizza.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Hitting on someone in a bar is like cutting off a large truck on the highway: either way you better hope the airbags work.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Wash the wise man's feet, but be careful of his corns.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Wolves, waves, and wives--they travel in packs and have been known to kill.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

If either you or the painter has big teeth, your portrait will as well.