Thursday, December 10, 2009

Ghosts are just dead people who missed the bus.
[from the Swedish, "Spöken är bara döda människor som missade bussen."]

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Feed the dogs before the cats and cat pee shows up in your hats.
[from the German, "Füttern Sie die Hunde vor den Katzen und Katzen pinkeln zeigt sich in Ihrem Hüte."]

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Do, or do not--just don't wake Jeff.
[from the Maltese: "Do, jew ma - biss ma tranja Jeff."]

Monday, November 30, 2009

Very few men know the true meaning of blavery.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Just and fair, the noble vole--it bites at anything you stick in its hole. 
[from the French]

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Jello in your socks at morn will coax away the hardest corn.
[from "Shamans of Sheboygin: A Cheese-State Compendium of Folk Remedies",  Ethel's House Press, 1972]

Monday, November 23, 2009

Time is a river of cheese fondue and we are the croutons.
[from the sayings of the 5th-century Roman poet, Ovoid]

Friday, November 20, 2009

Start your day with an enormous poop, and you can jump through any hoop!

[Catchphrase for 40s radio pitchman, Ranger Regular, maker of Ranger Regular's Rocket Fiber Supplements]

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Taco, burrito, cheese enchilada...If he's eaten all three, he's probably your father.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Give a man a twinkie and he'll snack for a few minutes, teach a man how to build a well-concealed underground shelter stocked with thousands of twinkies and he'll survive the coming zombie attacks. -- [overheard on a bus in Tulsa]

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Lemmings to the sea--more lemming chow for me.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

There are no stupid questions--only stupid birds.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The nose is a lot plainer on the end of somebody else's face.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Toast with butter--start to stutter; toast with jam--sleep with Pam.