tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-169007462024-03-07T19:30:45.126-07:00provurgatory (proverbs, from Purgatory)second-rate, b-list, rejected and poorly translated sayings and aphorismsJDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.comBlogger318125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-66616704337562973002020-01-05T14:42:00.001-07:002020-04-19T12:33:04.111-06:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A bird in the hand is not better than two birds in the bush if you have some kind of phobia of holding birds, like Melvin Funkel does.<br />
--Melvin Funkel's sister, Denise Funkel</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-3210974420297632242020-01-05T14:15:00.001-07:002020-01-05T14:15:44.451-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's hard to get someone who is already in the soup to admit that he's an onion.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-79226107471062762992020-01-05T14:01:00.003-07:002020-01-05T14:01:42.490-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Test the waters, tame the otters, chase away the squirrels and squatters.<br />
--from the Dutch ("Test het water, tem de otters, jaag de eekhoorns en krakers weg.")</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-57511124132584470432020-01-05T13:59:00.002-07:002020-01-05T13:59:29.152-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Mustard, good mustard, is best when you slather it all over your naked body.<br />
--Pope Shecky II</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-11593824563365197402020-01-05T13:58:00.000-07:002020-01-05T13:58:22.168-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There is no WE in MASTURBATE, but there is a U.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-67939903744621976952020-01-05T13:57:00.001-07:002020-01-05T13:57:35.854-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It takes US to spell MUCUS.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-20373539050899499112020-01-05T13:56:00.003-07:002020-01-05T13:56:53.025-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Can there be a faster fast breaker than the fast-break breakfaster?<br />
--from a rejected radio script I haven't written yet</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-81671859582956502752020-01-05T13:55:00.003-07:002020-04-19T12:35:31.309-06:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The tension it eases as the gas it releases.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-12414481183131280472020-01-05T13:55:00.001-07:002020-01-05T13:55:28.914-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The box defines the boxer as the lox defines the loxer.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-54807976292354023432020-01-05T12:20:00.002-07:002020-12-19T14:03:21.747-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">
Let the past go. It's got short stubby arms and it smells like feet.<br />--from the Yiddish, "Z<span style="background-color: #f8f9fa; white-space: pre-wrap;">al der Fargangenheyt geyn. Es hot kurts stubbi Gever aun es smells vi Fis.</span>"</span></div>
</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-7122581701645561462020-01-05T12:16:00.000-07:002020-01-05T12:16:16.931-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The last cheeseburger is never the least appreciated cheeseburger.<br />
--Master Dee Egg ("Zen Wisdom for Snacks", Tubesock Press, 2011)<br />
<br /></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-27154835415308864442020-01-05T12:13:00.002-07:002020-12-19T14:07:19.064-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span face="system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif" style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: times; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today is only a fire drill, but tomorrow might be a REAL DRILL headed right for your skull!
— my HS counselor, Mr. Topiary</span></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-61725963073951440612013-12-26T16:16:00.001-07:002013-12-26T16:16:17.275-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Finish the wine before Steve gets in line.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">(--from the Dutch "</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Beëindig de wijn voor Steve krijgt in de rij.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">")</span></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-37201613128273218832013-12-26T16:11:00.001-07:002013-12-26T16:11:02.264-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">90% of life is showing up. The other 10% is showing off.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> </span></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-84034103828527607122013-12-20T14:36:00.001-07:002013-12-20T14:36:01.716-07:00<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The key to happiness also fits the lock on the door to the pizza closet.</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">--J Diego</span></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-56628689203146854662013-12-18T14:28:00.001-07:002013-12-18T14:55:18.877-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">False rumors become truer if you tell them to Steve.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">--from the Zulu ("</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Amahebezi angamanga ziba kancane okungamanga uma utshela ukuba Steve.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">")</span></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-15622235481890085692013-12-15T16:23:00.000-07:002013-12-15T16:23:18.774-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Do not pick up quarters from the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">men's room </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">floor. </span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">--Pope Clement II</span></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-13956690536383167802013-01-21T10:15:00.002-07:002013-01-21T10:15:59.598-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Those who spend their days counting money will spend their nights with the girlfriends of bankers.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-37465853403072395112012-11-04T15:55:00.002-07:002012-11-04T15:55:44.961-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Lose the hat, keep the cat, take the bus to Angkor Wat.<br />
<br /></div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-91171646017182767132012-11-04T15:54:00.003-07:002012-11-04T15:54:54.935-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Warm your tush before the stove; the burning bush is just for Jove.<br />
</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-85679711275870375342012-11-04T15:54:00.000-07:002012-11-04T15:54:20.503-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Travel by horse and remember the course. Travel by Greyhound and get fleas from a backpack.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-24689934027380124092012-11-04T15:53:00.001-07:002012-11-04T15:57:29.196-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Who chooses to bathe in the soup will be licked by old Jewish men.</div>
JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-32293910379582461252012-01-20T09:02:00.000-07:002012-01-20T09:02:42.018-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Shake the salt if it's your fault; shake the pepper to blame the leper.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(old Hawaiian saying)</span></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-38723440475387656922012-01-05T13:46:00.000-07:002012-01-06T11:10:04.449-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Cannot the shortest among you see up the skirts of opportunity?<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">--Milton Snerver (1918 Republican presidential candidate)</span></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16900746.post-74201792905231310442011-12-29T12:14:00.000-07:002011-12-29T12:14:16.547-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Every time you sneeze, kiss your nurse's knees. <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(from the German: "<span class="hps" style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Jedes Mal, wenn</span><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> </span><span class="hps" style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Sie niesen,</span><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> </span><span class="hps" style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">küsse deine</span><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> </span><span class="hps" style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Krankenschwester</span><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> </span><span class="hps" style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">die Knie</span><span class="" style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">.</span>")</span></div>JDiegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00617458333055968183noreply@blogger.com0