Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Underpants are never an inappropriate housewarming gift.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Next to the frog, the politician eats the most flies.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Even an ignorant monkey knows the easiest way to open a banana.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

He is a horse who runs with the woman, a donkey who carries her, and a mule who stays in the barn.

Monday, January 23, 2006

There are three kinds of Hell, and two of them smell like urinal cakes.
[from the Finnish]

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Lactose intolerant, schmactose intolerant.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

We ask the same from cars and condoms--make the trip without breaking down.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Chance is the canned ham that falls off the truck; karma the canned ham that falls off the truck and hits the head of that kid who used to steal my ham sandwiches in the fourth grade.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

A cheerful insult is an open gate in the chicken-wire fence of friendship.
(obscure rural Tennesee folk wisdom)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Those who make up proverbs are doomed to repeat themselves.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Who finishes the pickles must drink the brine.
(from the original Portuguese)

Friday, January 06, 2006

That which is illegal today should have been stockpiled yesterday.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Squirrel in the tree--on your head he will pee.
(very roughly translated from the original Spanish)