Wednesday, November 30, 2005

With llamas and lava lamps--always careful.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Red in the morning, hangover forming; red still at noon, wish death to come soon.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The best hemorrhoids are the hemorrhoids of your enemy.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Choose your lubricant with as much care you would your proctologist.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Test the turkey, tempt the tiger.
(Yoruba folk saying)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Friday, November 18, 2005

Someone named Tonya (with an "o") knows your sister.
[translated (poorly) from the original Flemish]

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Those who pee in public test the goodwill of their neighbors.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Choosing new upholstery is a step toward recovery.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Revenge for the revenger--Stonehenge for the stonehenger.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Friday, November 11, 2005

Ice melts at the same rate as the gin gets diluted.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Greet the world with a frown, unless you want a bunch of idiots to assume that you're happy to see them.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Who wishes to be born must first pass a testicle.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Lord or lard, we all need a reason to get out of bed.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Tricycle, bicycle, life cycle, icicle, recycle.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The value of a friendship can be measured in unpaid loans.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

No room for gloom in Altoona!
[rejected state tourism slogan]

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

As the undertaker rejoices, the insurance salesman weeps.