Thursday, August 31, 2006

The hottest coffee will find the shakiest hand.
[from the Turkish]

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

True love does not ridicule your crippling arachnophobia.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Taco, burrito, cheese enchilada--if he's eaten all three he's probably the father.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Zip up your fly or you'll put out someone's eye.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Take your time, enjoy the ride (all the way to the septic tank).

Monday, August 21, 2006

Venetian blinds are neither sightless nor Northern Italian.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Tie your own shoes before tying the shoes of the person with lace-up shoes but no arms.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Same gut, different shirt.
[from High-Larious Comments of My Co-Workers by A.E. Inman, 2005, BadaBingBadaBoom Press]

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Spending too much time can leave you hours in debt.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

If you leave a trap for something, make sure you remember where it is and whether it can kill you.
[from French Fur Trapper Sayings for Every Occasion! (Artic Circle Press)]

Friday, August 11, 2006

The scariest flying monkey is second one out of your butt.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Eat the poodles before you start in on the larger dogs.
[from the German]

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Monday, August 07, 2006

Measles are for weasels, but mumps are for chumps.
[from Fun with Infectious Diseases: A Coloring Book of the Great Plagues (1978, CDC Publications)]

Friday, August 04, 2006

Helmets should probably be required more often than shirts and shoes.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

To climb the mountain, one must first get out of the jail.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

You can't delegate self-obsession.
--Anonymous Q. Narcissist