Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The gracious hostess lowers her gun first.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Friday, May 26, 2006

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Given enough time and a place to stand, a man could get some stuff done, man.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Two-for-one; rue the sun.
(trans from the original Tagalog)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The devil's advocate called: He wants his other hand back.
(from Wise Sayings of Ex-Girlfriends)

Monday, May 22, 2006

Friday, May 19, 2006

Dreadful is the reminder that tomorrow is a school day.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The lion fended off today will come back in the night, majorly pissed and hungry.
(from Africanish Wisdom by Stan Wilbik)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

You can't get juiced from just one gin-soaked olive.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Work is less fun than a backpack full of stink beetles.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Feet first, failing finding of fists.
(18th-century martial arts axiom)

Friday, May 12, 2006

We swear our undying alliegiance to Harding Bortz & Co. Industrial Food Service Fittings.
(trans. from the ancient Latin)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

You can lead a snake to Walter, but he can't make it slink.
(from "Reptile Reminders" Page-a-Day Calendar, May 11, 2006)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

For predator: to find; prey: not get found.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Helium balloon--like chipmunks we will croon.
(from the Turkish)

Monday, May 08, 2006

The human body is nine tenths water, which explains my frequent trips to the men's room.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Onanists of the world unite! (Well, on second thought, stay where you are...)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

All we are is dust in the wind, and on the ground, and in the air filters, and lining the mucosal walls of billions of noses (including that dude's who just sneezed in the library).

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Free parking is never safe from the pigeons.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Face up to your fears after drinking three beers.

Monday, May 01, 2006