The gracious hostess lowers her gun first.

Box of paperclips--sink some paper ships.

Fucking Abraham fucking Lincoln!

Given enough time and a place to stand, a man could get some stuff done, man.

Two-for-one; rue the sun.
(trans from the original Tagalog)

The devil's advocate called: He wants his other hand back.
(from Wise Sayings of Ex-Girlfriends)

The nose knows not when the ear waxes.

Dreadful is the reminder that tomorrow is a school day.

The lion fended off today will come back in the night, majorly pissed and hungry.
(from Africanish Wisdom by Stan Wilbik)

You can't get juiced from just one gin-soaked olive.

Work is less fun than a backpack full of stink beetles.

Feet first, failing finding of fists.
(18th-century martial arts axiom)

We swear our undying alliegiance to Harding Bortz & Co. Industrial Food Service Fittings.
(trans. from the ancient Latin)

You can lead a snake to Walter, but he can't make it slink.
(from "Reptile Reminders" Page-a-Day Calendar, May 11, 2006)

For predator: to find; prey: not get found.

Helium balloon--like chipmunks we will croon.
(from the Turkish)

The human body is nine tenths water, which explains my frequent trips to the men's room.

Onanists of the world unite! (Well, on second thought, stay where you are...)

All we are is dust in the wind, and on the ground, and in the air filters, and lining the mucosal walls of billions of noses (including that dude's who just sneezed in the library).

Free parking is never safe from the pigeons.

Face up to your fears after drinking three beers.

The current flows with the corpse.