Ghosts are just dead people who missed the bus.
[from the Swedish, "Spöken är bara döda människor som missade bussen."]

Need is what Want wishes it was.

Feed the dogs before the cats and cat pee shows up in your hats.
[from the German, "Füttern Sie die Hunde vor den Katzen und Katzen pinkeln zeigt sich in Ihrem Hüte."]

Do, or do not--just don't wake Jeff.
[from the Maltese: "Do, jew ma - biss ma tranja Jeff."]

Very few men know the true meaning of blavery.

Just and fair, the noble vole--it bites at anything you stick in its hole. 
[from the French]

Jello in your socks at morn will coax away the hardest corn.
[from "Shamans of Sheboygin: A Cheese-State Compendium of Folk Remedies",  Ethel's House Press, 1972]

Time is a river of cheese fondue and we are the croutons.
[from the sayings of the 5th-century Roman poet, Ovoid]

Start your day with an enormous poop, and you can jump through any hoop!

[Catchphrase for 40s radio pitchman, Ranger Regular, maker of Ranger Regular's Rocket Fiber Supplements]

Another day, another Doris.

Taco, burrito, cheese enchilada...If he's eaten all three, he's probably your father.

Give a man a twinkie and he'll snack for a few minutes, teach a man how to build a well-concealed underground shelter stocked with thousands of twinkies and he'll survive the coming zombie attacks. -- [overheard on a bus in Tulsa]

Lemmings to the sea--more lemming chow for me.

There are no stupid questions--only stupid birds.

The nose is a lot plainer on the end of somebody else's face.

Taste the donut, eat the dozen.

Toast with butter--start to stutter; toast with jam--sleep with Pam.