A hot cup of coffee on a hot day is a lot cooler than you think.
[Early nineties adverstising slogan, from the Russian]

True fulfillment comes to those who don't pig out on bread first.

Red sock in the wash, pink shirt is the cost.

Brother fighting brother is civil war; brother dragging brother into small claims court is civil suit.

Hope is the smell of bacon.

The man who makes up proverbs has way way too much time on his hands.

Salad, soup, sandwich, snack: two steps forward, two steps back.
[from the Portuguese]

Bird flu, swine flu, why not wine flu?

"Poetry is better than bad sex, but not as good as great sex."
(Saying popular in French brothels, apocryphally attributed to either Bauldelaire, or Mme. De Maisonlaina of the province of Arles)

Every empty chair is a chance to sit your big ass down.

Run from a smiling crocodile; he is not smiling.
(from "Reptile Reminders" Page-a-Day Calendar, July 13, 2006)

Helium balloon drifts in the sky; somebody's toddler starting to cry.

Always stay seated until the hostage-negotiator leaves.

Martini with gin, like riding a schwinn; martini with vodka, a cab to Khamkatka.

He is best avoided who claims to have a "party in his pants."
[from the Latin]

Test not, flunk not.

Never leave the house without first feeding the python.
(from "Reptile Reminders" Page-a-Day Calendar, July 5, 2006)

The shorter the nurse, the longer the rectal thermometer.

Less talk, more toxicity!

The comfortable couch is all that separates us from the heathen.

Like a rabbit will run, so will a vole, which is like a rabbit.

The highest score may win the trophy, but the lowest number gets the next deli sandwich.

The next train is tomorrow--show up sober.
[from the Italian]

Thank Thor it's Thursday!

Family vacation can cause constipation, but vacation with friends can lead to the bends.